My very own "friendship" article

"I will speak ill of no man, and speak all the good I know of everybody."

- Benjamin Franklin

What can someone expect on Tuesday 13^th? In Greece they consider it as a jynxed day where people shouldn’t be going out much and rather stay home, cuddling and watch television for avoiding any kind of social dispute.

I don’t believe in superstitions. But I surely believe in how people affect your mood when times are not so bright in the country we live in.

I am so irritated by everything that is happening in Greece and more specifically the impact it is having on my social circle; What I see is that when friends are supposed to stand by each other and help each other when the dark days come, they rather turn their backs and focus on every non sense issue they have in their very own private life. In other words, what I see is pure egotism.

"Egotism is the aesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity." - Frank Leahy

Many of us have spent many hours of our days trying to console, cheer up and even talk some sense into our friends. They may have been through hell and back, or they may be simply in a bad mood and hence exaggerating; still, you make sure to always focus on their problem and try to resolve it as smoothly as possible. I am sure every one of us tries to do so for their peers but some just “lose control” and make the whole matter about you. Or worse, you just nod mecahnically because you are thinking of other stull like how you are going to spend your time at night.

Let’s get more specific. I have had strong friendships all over the world (actually no, just in London, Beirut and Athens) and every year I realize how complex it is getting as we grow up and how exploitation becomes more and more common amongst your friends.

"I don't trust him. We're friends." - Bertolt Brecht

So, as a 25 year-old-not-that-patient person I have figured some ways to not get disappointed and rather move on without giving any importance to what has happened between a friend and me.

First and foremost, be sure you are righteously irritated. Sometimes we get too sentimental and confuse the whole matter (especially when girls PMS). You may be the one who is “awfully” wrong.

Second, be sure to have several groups of friends. If you hang out with the same crowd daily, you are more prone to fight with each other. Your group of friends and your acquaintances should be thoroughly separated so you can interact with as many as possible and in different styles of locations.

Also, make sure to have a hobby. You have no idea how annoying it is to have people calling you from the moment they wake up to the time they get out of the house bugging you on what are the plans for tonight. Having a hobby takes out a lot of your energy (in a good way of course, except if your hobby is selling drugs in the ghetto) and makes you love staying home: Be your own best friend. Be the inner best friend who is always there to protect you, chat or chill out with you, care and love you unconditionally. Life provides us of constant reminders that ourselves is the essence to everything.

Kids hang out with themselves by having an imaginary friend which help them find the ”always-dependable best friend of love, friendship and happiness”  within themselves

Read. Read articles, the paper, the news, tabloids or even Freud. Sometimes focusing on the rich and famous’ lives enhances your mood. Who doesn’t laugh to the Kardashian’s lame fights or to Britney Spears’ weird mood swings?

Never ask the stupid, stupid question: “How could you do that to me?” Frankly, it is futile. This person you are facing is probably a bitch / bastard and if he/she is worth a second shot (which usually doesn’t) he/she will be strong on apologies (if he actually says sorry; because we have a tendency to be very selfish for no reason at all). I don’t agree with Elton John saying that “sorry seems to be the hardest word”. Sorry is sorry: when you mess up big time with a person you love the least you could do is apologize. But again, I agree with the saying: "Friendship is delicate as a glass, once broken it can be fixed but there will always be cracks"

“Being sorry is the highest act of selfishness, seeing value only after discarding it." - Douglas Horton 

Stop being a hypocrite just to show how awesome you are. You have to be a big actor to keep hypocrisy going on. Eventually, you’ll get busted and then you’ll be so lonely that your second self will be your only friend. 

When a friend tells you an ugly truth don’t get offended. It is one of the main reasons why you have friends and family around you: For example if a good friend of yourse doesn’t not like your crowd there probably is something out there that looks fishy. It’s not always about being jealous (although in many female friendships, jealousy is a main reason for fighting).

NEVER and I truly say, NEVER accuse a person of doing or saying something you have said or done too like for example gossiping about you. I have friends who were talking behind my back for ages. Few months later, I was tempted to do the same and they did a whole fuss about it. People don’t understand how much it hurts until their own self is faced with it.

Don’t get me wrong… Friends are wonderful people. They help you in the obstacles you face daily, they make you laugh, entertain you, cry with you when you are sad. All this is what makes friendship so special: Altruism, being there for the other person, forgetting what your own issued and focusing on your friends’. This people are thos that keep us going and grow stronger every day. 

There are now a dozen of people in my life that I consider friends and as I grow up there is a strong possibility this number will decrease even more but I am happy with it, because with each relationship that fades away comes a whole new set of concepts on human bonds and perhaps you will meet other people more suitable to your every day life. Just remember: True Friendship is like ghosts: everybody talks about it, but few have actually seen it.

To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others." - Albert Camus

Are you a good or a bad friend? Take the quiz! http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Friendship-Quiz-Are-You-a-Good-Friend-or-a-Bad-Friend