MIRROR MIRROR ON THE WALL WHO IS THE HAPPIEST OF THEM ALL?

"I Like the way it hurts", she whispered to him softly.

When cold invades the place, everyone breaks up and hooks up again for spending the winter cozy by the fireplace with their partner. But are they really in love?

I’ve come to realize that men often remain in a relationship out of pity or boredom. Women on the other hand remain in it out of habit, to boost up their confidence or have someone to nag at night. And then, they both are caught up in the whole social pressure that ends up being nothing but a superficial love life.

They may not talk anymore and may have drifted apart and forgotten the meaning of the “I love you” phrase.  In the world we live, each one of us is so confused with our ego, we forgets there is someone close by that is waiting with his / her arms open to save him / her. And that someone is not always the person you are socially and emotionally associated too. If you are lucky, it may be and in that case you don’t have to look for him / her.

Couples get used to having sex; Love and passion and all those popping hearts around you two will eventually go away. And what remains? Respect, most importantly. When looking for your soul mate, you are looking for the one who will hold your hair when throwing up, squeeze your hand when hurting, kiss you softly letting you know tomorrow will be a better day, the one who will bear your baby. A life partner should know where you come from, how you have been raised; He should never dare verbally or physically violate you. If he does and yet you see the good in him, either make him a better man or change countries.

23.6% of Greek women declare that she knows  a woman from their related and/or friendly environment that it has suffered or is suffering from incidents of domestic violence from the spouse/intimate partners

In theory, we all know that. We all believe that respect within a couple is important, essential and vital (three words that mean the same, but repetition won’t hurt) but what happens when our theory and practice start growing apart? That is, when you know you are seeking respect, but remain with someone who doesn’t give you any.  

I don’t know. Really, I don’t know. A friend of mine went to Guadeloupe for six months to get over his break up with his fiancé after she cheated on him. Another one is seeing a psychotherapist for over two years now. Others lock themselves up until they feel they can love again. There are other extreme cases where people (mostly women) attempt to end their life. It depends on the strength we have and most importantly, on how much we know about emotional competence.

Beautiful women tend to fall madly in love with weird, ugly, scary and socially awkward men. This, I don’t get it. I know the feeling, I have done it too long time ago, but I still don’t get it. A woman may have everything to feel comfortable in her skin and mind (i.e.: financial support, a career, a home, family, friends, etc.) and yet, she feels the need to be loved by this ONE man that has proven he is not the actual ONE; But she believes he is helping her with her confidence boost.

Masses tend to label us according to the way we see ourselves; The stronger we feel the more they respect us

It’s a cruel world out there and human relationships are becoming harder. You never know who to trust, who is your friend and who is taking advantage of you. So when it comes to romance, it is even harder. And the only people you can turn to are your friends, the ones you have known since school and that have confirmed they are truly awesome. Even so, when it comes to choose between the boyfriend and the friends, we often go with our emotional instincts and pick the boyfriend.

We women must start to play it a bit smarter and put some boundaries on what is asked by our dear man or future lover. It’s all about education. Start cutting yourself some slack, feel the power invested in you and act out. If he leaves, he never was there; if he stays, he will be the father of your child.

Imagine you are in the situation where all the bad things of a relationship happened to you: He acted like a jerk and you are now coping with the betrayal, the violence or anything else he might have done. First and foremost, I will start by the cheesy: “You live and you learn”. Next time it won’t happen, you would have pulled the trigger before he opens his mouth.

YOUR Happiness is what makes you wake up in the morning with a smile.

In order to learn, you must first leave. Get rid of the old ruins and start building a palace of your own. You probably won’t miss him; you will miss the person you thought he was.

La crainte du danger est mille fois plus terrifiante que le danger present (Daniel Defoe in Robinson Crusoe)
The fear of danger is a thousand times more terrifying then the danger itself.

You have to understand that by losing this one man, one love or one whatever-it-was-you-had, you are gaining a new social life, more time with your friends, more time with your own self and most importantly the chance to meet a person worth your time with a whole new dimension to it.

ONE is a lonely number; but at least, you are on top.

Cheer up. Really, stay positive and think further about every situation you are in. If I were to give one word of advice: Drink to all those nights that turned to mornings and all those friends that turned to family; it will probably keep the darkness away for a bit.

Friends are like angels: you don't have to see them to know they will prevent you from falling.

THE MALE-SEX JARGON

As this weekend was an extremely chilled one with no outings or drinking, I decided to broaden my horizons and do some miscellaneous, yet interesting, reading about men and sex, having as a reference a booklet called “the 100 things men should know about sex” (I have no idea how it got into my room, I swear). Yes, it is indeed directed to men and even if I happen not to be one, I found it very inspiring and sometimes, helpful in practice. Please note few of the new words I learned:

METAMOUR: In a relationship where more than two people are involved, the metamour is the name given to your girlfriend / boyfriend’s lover(s). The interesting fact is that instead of hitting him / her hard in the face, you rather think he / she is a quite cool person.

The best example of a Metamour: Eric Northman from cult series True Blood

COMPERSION: Many people have asked me throughout the years what is the EXACT opposite of jealousy (i.e.: most dictionaries state “trust”, but I dare to disagree). Well, this is it people! Compersion is the feeling of relief and happiness when your girlfriend / boyfriend breaks up with you or is tempted to go discover other men / women’s anatomy.

"I never get jealous when I see my girl with someone else, because my mom always taught me to give my used toys to the less fortunate."

MANSCAPING: A very interesting and new trend in Greece. Some state it is a state of art and culture. Manscaping is the act of shaving or waxing a man’s face, torso or “below the belt” parts. According to experts at Askmen.com, it heightens the sexual experience by creating slippery and smooth contact. Most women do prefer it bold and smooth so I am guessing it is the thing to do to enhance your partner’s arousal because at the end of the day, "there's nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking!"

Fact: The clean-shaven look has reached so much popularity nowadays that Philips Norelco electronics marketed a foil body grooming shaver designed exclusively for your manscaping need!

Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving so I say: 

"I'm gonna shave too"

RELASTITUTION: It is a give and take relationship where one party provides the sex and the other one offers material goods such as gifts, dinners at fancy restaurants, etc. In other words, the girl (mostly the case) uses the boy for material gain and the boy buys her for physical, emotional pleasure. In my opinion, I am under the impression that relastitution is either an early stage of prostitution or a fulfilment to two über pathetic people.

      

From movie "How to marry a millionaire" (1953)

"A Golddigger is like a prostitute, only smarter".

LAIR: So common I could die. Lair is when a group of usually very cocky men gather together and exchange their “flirting” tactics in order to put them in practice when the lights turn down. If you are a woman, lair nucleus’ are very dangerous, some sort of a black hole that may suck you in for a whole night! In every lairing group, there are the “losers” who try to learn and the “experts” who teach. At the end of the night, you either remain a loser or end up lucky in a stranger’s bed.

From movie "Grease" (1978): The "Boys" discussing summer and girls at school recess

BITCH SHIELD: Do I really have to explain? In case it is not stating the obvious, a bitch shield is a man’s worst enemy: when a woman places natural and sometimes aggressive boundaries between you and her underwear. Still, it could be a nice mind game for both sexes and perhaps the essence of a fun evening. These days, sex is too easy to get; thus, a bitch shield may be quite amusing for a man as long as he ends up winning the “game”.

CAMELTOE: All of those that have seen Sex and the City 2 should be familiar with the expression. A camel toe is what you can see at the level of a woman’s private parts when she is wearing very tight leggings or pants. Not fancy. Huge turn off.  Some are more familiar with the “moose knuckle”. That is, any sexual organ appearing under tight clothes; it has a broader meaning than the camel toe (fully dedicated to the vagina).

Britney Spear's disturbing Cameltoe during the shooting of her clip "Oops I did it again" (2000)

MILF: Again, should I really say what a MILF is? Regardless, a mother I’d like to f**k. It is a woman in her mid thirties, early forties who does not necessarily have children, but that gives you a hint of her maturity, yet sexiness. After few years time, she changes into a GILF. If you come to Greece and go for coffee in Glyfada in the southern suburbs, you will know exactly what I am talking about. I wish I could post a picture of what I consider a pure MILF (the ugly type) but I rather let your imagination work.

Where did she get the baby out from? Post-natal Heidi Klum in one of Victoria's secret fashion show

COUGAR, PUMA, JAGUAR and LION CUB: This feline jargon is simply names characterizing a “mature” woman liking to hang out in bar, clubs and hitting on younger males, 10 to 15 years older than her. That is, a cougar is the feminine of a manther. “Lion cubs” is the name given to her victims. A cougar deviates discussions having to do with her age, children, previous marriages or anything that has to do with her past. Cougars prey on their younger victims in order to gain popularity amongst their fellow cougars, as well as for a sexual high. Some are extremely good looking MILFs and somewhat stylish. Others are old, drunk dirt, ex-prostitutes with a lot of money and a feeling of insecurity. Cougars become Puma’s (late thirties) and then, in their sixties, they reach the ultimate level of Jaguars.

It would be crazy not to mention the queen of Cougars, their ultimate inspiration: Demi Moore (photographed here with lion cub Ashton Kutcher)

VAJAYJAY: The American airheaded replacement to “vagina” in a supposedly cute and conservative way. For me, it is just pathetic and at the edge of ridicule. Some men like it when women tend to cut words in half or start speaking in a high pitched level to seem cuter. JESUS! Stick to your voice and to the Oxford dictionary.

Yes, that sorts of sums it: Blondes. 

VAGITARIAN: A man or woman purely attracted to a woman’s private part. Some define it as the new word for “lesbian”. Rather, it combines lesbians as well as heterosexual men. Also, it is the strict opposite of a penivore.

Igor Vassiliadis' "Forbiden Embrace"

O-FACE: What your face looks like when you reach an orgasm, either a man or a woman.

SEX HAIR: What your hair looks like after passionate sex… Have you hear of Motley Crue fans banging their heads up and down? Something like that.

Sexy O-face and Sex hair combined in a unique shot of Naomi Watts

WINGMAN: The one who accompanies you in your flirting nights out and will be an accomplice in getting the girl at the end of the bar. I have noticed that the best wingman is a woman friend. If you have a female “buddy” with whom your friendship is pure and who is hot and sociable, take her out for a drink, you won’t go back home empty handed.

"Dejeuner sur l'herbe" Edouart Manet (1863)

I'm not sure why I've put this here. I just have a feeling that these gentlemen met these two women in the forest, one being the wingman of the other, had a picnic and then had sex until the break of dawn.

ROASTING: Perhaps every woman’s hidden fantasy? A feature of our Freudian id, it consists of one woman having multiple sexual liaisons with men at the very same time. In other words, one-female orgy.

Roasting in Fashion advert by Calvin Klein