"I
will speak ill of no man, and speak all the good I know of everybody."
- Benjamin Franklin
What can someone expect on Tuesday 13th?
In Greece
they consider it as a jynxed day where people shouldn’t be going out much and
rather stay home, cuddling and watch television for avoiding any kind of social
dispute.
I don’t believe in superstitions. But I surely
believe in how people affect your mood when times are not so bright in the
country we live in.
I am so irritated by everything that is
happening in Greece and more specifically the impact it is having on my social
circle; What I see is that when friends are supposed to stand by each other and
help each other when the dark days come, they rather turn their backs and focus
on every non sense issue they have in their very own private life. In other
words, what I see is pure egotism.
"Egotism
is the aesthetic that dulls the pain of stupidity." - Frank Leahy
Many of us have spent many hours of our days
trying to console, cheer up and even talk some sense into our friends. They may
have been through hell and back, or they may be simply in a bad mood and hence
exaggerating; still, you make sure to always focus on their problem and try to
resolve it as smoothly as possible. I am sure every one of us tries to do so
for their peers but some just “lose control” and make the whole matter about
you. Or worse, you just nod mecahnically because you are thinking of other
stull like how you are going to spend your time at night.
Let’s get more specific. I have had strong
friendships all over the world (actually no, just in London,
Beirut and Athens)
and every year I realize how complex it is getting as we grow up and how
exploitation becomes more and more common amongst your friends.
"I
don't trust him. We're friends." -
Bertolt
Brecht
So, as a 25 year-old-not-that-patient person I
have figured some ways to not get disappointed and rather move on without
giving any importance to what has happened between a friend and me.
First and foremost, be sure you are righteously
irritated. Sometimes we get too sentimental and confuse the whole matter
(especially when girls PMS). You may be the one who is “awfully” wrong.
Second, be sure to have several groups of
friends. If you hang out with the same crowd daily, you are more prone to fight
with each other. Your group of friends and your acquaintances should be
thoroughly separated so you can interact with as many as possible and in
different styles of locations.
Also, make sure to have a hobby. You have no
idea how annoying it is to have people calling you from the moment they wake up
to the time they get out of the house bugging you on what are the plans for
tonight. Having a hobby takes out a lot of your energy (in a good way of
course, except if your hobby is selling drugs in the ghetto) and makes you love
staying home: Be your own best friend. Be the inner best friend who is always there to protect you, chat or chill out with you, care and love you unconditionally. Life provides us of constant reminders that ourselves is the essence to everything.
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| Kids hang out with themselves by having an imaginary friend which help them find the ”always-dependable best friend of love, friendship and happiness” within themselves |
Read. Read articles, the paper, the news,
tabloids or even Freud. Sometimes focusing on the rich and famous’ lives
enhances your mood. Who doesn’t laugh to the Kardashian’s lame fights or to Britney
Spears’ weird mood swings?
Never ask the stupid, stupid question: “How
could you do that to me?” Frankly, it is futile. This person you are facing is
probably a bitch / bastard and if he/she is worth a second shot (which usually
doesn’t) he/she will be strong on apologies (if he actually says sorry; because
we have a tendency to be very selfish for no reason at all). I don’t agree with
Elton John saying that “sorry seems to be the hardest word”. Sorry is sorry: when
you mess up big time with a person you love the least you could do is
apologize. But again, I agree with the saying: "Friendship is delicate as a glass, once
broken it can be fixed but there will always be cracks"
“Being sorry is the highest act of selfishness, seeing
value only after discarding it." - Douglas Horton
Stop being a hypocrite just to show how awesome
you are. You have to be a big actor to keep hypocrisy going on. Eventually,
you’ll get busted and then you’ll be so lonely that your second self will be
your only friend.
When a friend tells you an ugly truth don’t get
offended. It is one of the main reasons why you have friends and family around
you: For example if a good friend of yourse doesn’t not like your crowd there
probably is something out there that looks fishy. It’s not always about being
jealous (although in many female friendships, jealousy is a main reason for
fighting).
NEVER and I truly say, NEVER accuse a person of
doing or saying something you have said or done too like for example gossiping
about you. I have friends who were talking
behind my back for ages. Few months later, I was tempted to do the same and
they did a whole fuss about it. People don’t understand how much it hurts until
their own self is faced with it.
Don’t get me wrong…
Friends are wonderful people. They
help you in the obstacles you face daily, they make you laugh, entertain you,
cry with you when you are sad. All this is what makes friendship so special:
Altruism, being there for the other person, forgetting what your own issued and
focusing on your friends’. This people are thos that keep us going and grow
stronger every day.
There are now a
dozen of people in my life that I consider friends and as I grow up there is a
strong possibility this number will decrease even more but I am happy with it,
because with each relationship that fades away comes a whole new set of
concepts on human bonds and perhaps you will meet other people more suitable to
your every day life. Just remember: True Friendship is like ghosts: everybody
talks about it, but few have actually seen it.
To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others." - Albert Camus
